the cat in your computer.
the cat in your computer.
Warning! This page contains adult content.
atashi ne futsuu ja nai n da
konna koto ittara kirawarechau kana
itsumo ***chan to kurabechau no
konna minikui sugata hito ni au no ga kowai
nee nigenaide yo sugu ni owaru kara
kikitai koto iitai koto datte takusan aru no
zannen na koto ni
kore ha aru otoko no ko no kanashii riaru
nee ittai nankai atashi ha kurikaeshiteku no
wakatte nee wakatte atashi wo
nee ittai zentai atashi ha furimawashiteru no
nee zutto zutto soba de
kaeru basho mo nai iku ate mo mou nai
subete yudaneta atashi kimi ni
tsurai kowai kanashii shinitai
kireba raku ni nareru no
antei motomete mata jouzai ni te wo nobasu n darou
nande nande nande
zannen na koto ni
kore ha aru otoko no ko no kanashii riaru
nee ittai nankai atashi ha kurikaeshiteku no
wakatte nee wakatte atashi wo
nee ittai zentai atashi ha furimawashiteru no
nee zutto zutto
douse atashi no koto nante dare mo rikaishitekurenai n da
mou isso kiechaeba ii n da yo ne
atashi to wakareta ato ni
anata ga hoka no dareka to waratteru nante
zettai ni yurusanai
kekkyoku anata no minna to onaji
aishiteru tte itteta no mo zenbu uso
iku na tte itte yo
tomete hoshii no
shinitai yo
shinitai shinitai shinitai
mou issai gassai hontou ha muimi na koto
zenbu wakatteru shitteru
demo kyou mo kizamitsudzukeru tabi ai ni kite
yamanai aenai sairen
nee ittai nankai atashi ha kurikaeshiteku no
wakatte nee wakatte atashi wo
nee ittai zentai atashi ha furimawashiteku no
nee zutto zutto zutto zutto soba de
anata ga atashi no koto aishitekuretenai n dattara
atashi mou ikiteru imi nai yo ne
itsumo itsumo anata wo mitete anata wo kanjiteta
atashi ha anata to issho nara shinde mo ii tte omotteta no ni
atashi wo aishitekurenai nara
shinde
And me? I'm not normal, you know.
Do you hate me when I say stuff like that?
You always end up comparing me with her.
My body's that ugly. Seeing people is scary.
Hey, don't run away. It'll all be over soon, anyway.
There are so many things I want to ask, that I want to say.
Unfortunately, to some poor boy out there, this is his reality.
Hey, just how many times am I going to repeat this?
Understand - hey, understand me
Hey, just how much am I swinging?
Hey, always, always by your side
There's nowhere to go back to, nor a reason to go
I had left it all to you
It's tough, I'm scared, I'm sad, I wanna die
But if I cut then I can feel relieved
Aiming toward stability, I guess I'll reach for another pill
Why? Why? Why? Why, why, why?
Unfortunately, to some poor boy out there, this is his reality.
Hey, just how many times am I going to repeat this?
Understand - hey, understand me
Hey, just how much am I swinging?
Hey, always, always...
No one will understand me no matter what I do.
At this point I'd rather just disappear, you know?
There's no way I'll ever forgive that you were laughing with someone else after leaving me.
In the end, you're just like everyone, just like that "I love you" was nothing but a lie, too.
Tell me not to go.
I want you to stop me.
I want to die.
I want to die, I want to die...
Now, I know that, I get that absolutely everything really is pointless,
But even today, every time I continue to cut, you come to see me, so
"Not ill" → "Can't see you" → Siren
Hey, just how many times am I going to repeat this?
Understand - hey, understand me
Hey, just how much am I going to swing?
Hey, always, always, always, always by your side.
If you aren't going to love me, then I don't have any reason to live anymore. I was always, always watching you, feeling you. I thought that if I were together with you, then I didn't care if I died, but if you won't love me, then
I'll die.